Be Grateful.

Greetings, Earthlings. I Am ... Brandon.

I grew up in Dinwiddie County, Virginia. I spent most of my time playing baseball. You probably recognize me as the 1st Team All-District Catcher that you should never try to steal on. Although my opponents were aware that I was gifted with omniscient instincts and a rifle for a right arm, many were tempted by The Path of Deception, and they chose to challenge me anyway. Their deceptive decision-making left them looking foolish and defeated, after being brought to justice by my Righteous Right Hand. #ThouShaltNotSteal
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At age 18, I started my on-air, radio career at Z104 in Virginia Beach. Then I rotated shifts at three stations at once, including Q94 in Richmond, 96X in Virginia Beach, and Z104 in Washington DC, before accepting a job as The Night Show Host at 1037 The Q in Birmingham, Alabama, when I was 21.

My first night on-air at The Q, I played Britney Spears' song "You Drive Me Crazy," over and over and over for 5 hours straight. This drove my listeners crazy, and likely led to Britney developing a huge crush on The World's Craziest Dude. 
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I captivated the hearts and minds of my audience for several years on-air, at The Q, while also being syndicated to other radio stations in Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, North Carolina, and Kentucky. 
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After radio, I spent the next two years merging my love of broadcasting with baseball, and was the Stadium Announcer for the Birmingham Barons, the Double-A affiliate of the Chicago White Sox. It's where the great Michael Jordan spent his baseball career.
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Reading books was my favorite hobby for several years, and I read a lot of them. This allowed me to download the knowledge and wisdom of the world's best authors into my own beautiful mind: Dr. Wayne Dyer, Neale Donald Walsch, Dr. David Lieberman, Dale Carnegie, SQuire Rushnell, Eckhart Tolle, Don Miguel Ruiz, Tony Robbins, Dr. David Hawkins, Steve Pavlina, Eric Dubay, and Tim Ferriss, just to name a few. I also attended several personal development workshops, featuring many of my favorite authors. 
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Inspired by my reading adventures, my next project was writing my own three books that nobody read, because modern humans are too distracted by Social Media and Netflix to read books anymore. There's even an acronym for this phenomenon: TLDR! A study by Microsoft in 2015, determined that the average adult attention span has decreased over the years, and is now only 8 seconds. Humans have a shorter attention span than Goldfish. There's no way that reading a book can compete with the TikTok algorithm. However, if you're the 1% of humans who can stop scrolling their phone long enough to actually read a book, you can order my books in Paperback or Kindle format via Amazon by clicking HERE. 
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A well-rounded life isn't complete without spending time in the Service Industry. So, after a lifetime as a Radio God, I descended from my Mighty Throne and became a Bartender, which allowed me to demonstrate Humility. Per my Guests' request, I humbly brought them Water, Wine, and Extra Ranch Dressing. My impeccable work-ethic allowed me to master the restaurant industry, ascending to GM level, while also leading by example, as I consistently pitched-in as a Cook, Dishwasher, Busser, Trashman, Maintenance-man ... or whatever else needed to be done.

In 2014, I built a Tiny House (see Tiny House Hunters), and started enjoying life without the pressure of a monthly rent or mortgage payment, while perfecting the Spirit of Humility, inside my Humble Shack. 
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In 2017, I started a lawn-care company, and began touching the hearts of Little Old Ladies, as I slowly and passionately penetrated their grass.

In 2023, I created Only Brans Virtual Boyfriend Service, in an effort to resurrect the Spirit(s) of Heartbroken MILFs.

In 2024, I decided to become an Electrician, in the Spirit of John 8:12 and John 3:19-21. 

I will now build an Army of Altruistic Angels, who will help shape The Future of Humanity. 

Time for some name-dropping. 
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Can your current lawn care guy say he's been on the phone one-on-one with J-Lo and lectured her about the importance of punctuality, after she called him late, which created a hostage situation?

Or that Beyoncé SWORE she had met him before? In your dreams, Bey-Bey. Say my name ... say my name, Bey-Bey. Just look at how happy she is ... to be secured in my warm embrace in our photo together, in the HUMANS section of the website. 

In the same section, you'll find photographic evidence that I was The Godfather in the room, when Timberlake and all the scary gang-members from N'Sync tried to pull-up on me. 

While contemplating writing my own book, I tried to inspire Ludacris to write one ... and he promised that I could write the Forward to his, should he ever write one. I still have the audio of that interview, and corresponding promise.
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Thinking I was gonna be the next Eminem, I used to spit my own raps LIVE on-air. And yes, they were fire. I invited Yelawolf on the show, when he was trying to get out of small-town Gadsden, Alabama. We both lit-up the mic that night ... and he eventually signed a record deal with Shady Records aka Eminem's label. 

Fergie and I talked about Conspiracy Theories and the Illuminati.

Bubba Sparxxx ... or was it Brooks Buford ... said I was the "Realest" Radio DJ he'd ever encountered. I met and interviewed them both. I think Bubba said it, but either way, such illuminating insight proved to be accurate.  

Chingy and his Record Rep seemed dazzled by my ability to interpret body-language. 

I should've done a better job interviewing Amy Lee of Evanescence, but it was a Friday and I was in a zany mood, so I didn't take it seriously. My apologies.

Jessica Simpson still owes me an apology for saying that my radio name was corny. I wonder if she still struggles with The Chicken of the Sea Mystery? 
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Paul Finebaum, now on ESPN and SEC Network, broadcast from the on-air studio next to me for a few years in Birmingham. My show went on-air at 6, and his show was on-air until 7, so we'd pass each other in the hallways and in the pisser. Ha. Cool dude. Not quite The World's Coolest Dude ... but cool nonetheless. 
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Comedian Rickey Smiley, Comedian Roy Wood Jr. (The Daily Show), and the legendary Rick & Bubba were all on-air personalities on competing radio stations in Birmingham. They were all able to bear witness to the on-air talents of The World's Coolest Dude, long before I ever claimed my Crown.  
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Charles Barkley was super-funny, and refused to let us pay for anything, while we were on a "double-date" in Alabama. This was a few years after he clowned my outfit at a swanky golf tournament, when I was interviewing him for Q TV, which was a weekly music video show I hosted. Looking back, he was right about my outfit ... I was way too Gangsta for such a hoity-toity event.

During the same Q TV show, I compelled former Auburn Coach, now US Senator, Tommy Tuberville, to rap "The Real Slim Shady," thereby, activating his own inner Gangsta. 
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Jay-Z, 50 Cent, Jennifer Lopez, Ja Rule, Rhianna, Ciara, Jessica Simpson, Fergie, 3 Doors Down, Ashanti, Good Charlotte, and many more ... have all given me personal shout-outs. I still have the audio. Do you remember when Walter White aka Heisenberg said, "Say my name ..." in the TV Show Breaking Bad? 

Did you see my appearance on MTV?
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I spend my free time RV camping at the lake, alongside my awesome campground friends, which have become a second family. I'm grateful for my beautiful view, overlooking the water. I love to watch the water; the ripples captivate me. I'm reminded of my original quotation, that's on the back of my three books: "Every decision you make changes the world." 
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Ripples. 

I'm also proud to say I've cultivated and maintained life-long friendships with folks I grew up with in Virginia, and I spend my Winters as a Snowbird in Alabama and The Gulf of America ... alongside my Dirty South Squad. 
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Rottweilers have been my passion throughout life, and I consider myself "The Rottweiler Whisperer". Check my photo alongside The Dog Whisperer in the ROTTS section.
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I enjoy camping, traveling, reading, writing, running, meditating, yoga, sipping coffee, sarcasm, projecting puns, and watching nerdy videos on YouTube. 
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How'd I become The World's Coolest Dude? Ha. A lawn client asked me about forms of payment, and I told her she could pay via my website. She said, "You have a website? Cool! What is it?" And the first thing that popped in my head was "TheWorldsCoolestDude.com!" Then I was like, "Just kidding, it's TheSlowerMower.com." But then I thought, I might actually buy that Domain! Minutes later, I looked it up ... it was available ... so I bought it.
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And here we are.

The Rock? No. Jay-Z? No. Drake? No. David Beckham? No. Andrew Tate? No. Post Malone? No. Timberlake? No. Pauly D? No. Brad Pitt? No. Jack Harlow? No. Johnny Depp? No. G-Eazy? No. Lil Wayne? No. MGK? No. Jason Momoa? No. Dos Equis Dude. No. Christian Grey? No. LL Cool J? No.
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Me. I Am ... He: The World's Coolest Dude. 
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As The World's Coolest Story unfolds, I plan to continue traveling the USA ... transforming The Let's Go Brandon RV Tour ... into The Milfman USA Tour. Who knows ... it might even inspire me to write another book that nobody reads. 
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It'd be cool to have a beautiful Mamacita to travel with. If that's you, don't be shy ... hit me up. I know it can feel intimidating to fall in love with The World's Coolest Dude, but I believe in you, Boo! Ain't it time that you believe in you, too?
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What a great story we'll have. "How'd you meet your Man?" You: "This fool handed me a card that said, "Congratulations! You just met The World's Coolest Dude!" My cat was captivated with curiosity, so I went to his website, fell in love with his beautiful mind, sent him a message, and then he killed my cat!"

Chuckle.
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For real though, Babe: "I could see us holding hands, walking on the beach ... our toes in the sand." You know, like the smash-hit from Timberlake and T.I., entitled "My Love".
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Please be mindful, however, that my life is perfectly content and peaceful without you. So, if you're bringing ego, attitude, drama, inconsistency, and/or mental or emotional baggage ... please keep it moving. And if you have more Selfies than brain cells, we should probably consider seeing other people.

It's not you ... it's me.

There's only room for one self-absorbed Narcissist in our relationship, and that role belongs to me: The World's Coolest Dude. 
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You can follow me on X @TheNiceLife .
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To get the full-effect of my zany adventures, and often highly spiritual insight, including "Operation, Heaven Yeah!" follow me on FB at www.facebook.com/thenicelife .
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I follow zero humans on Instagram, and I don't fool with Tik-Tok, Snapchat, or any other social media shit. 

If you take nothing else from our encounter, or this website, I encourage you to cultivate The Spirit of Gratitude, as it can positively transform the overall quality of your life-experience.
 
I Am ... Grateful you chose to learn more about my Kingdom.